Woman belittles husband's business by calling it "just a hobby" despite paying for 75% of expenses and enabling her to work from home by employing her: "She was calling me loser and a failure"

Author image for Ely Bulnes
Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Apr 2, 2025 5:00 PM EDT

Have you ever tried to turn your hobby into a business? Many try and fail at this endeavor. This is in part because as soon as you start monetizing your passion, it can make it considerably less enjoyable. Suddenly, this thing that you used to do for fun and to unwind becomes a chore or a necessessity. Furthermore, you have to learn a bunch of other boring skills – like bookkeeping – in order to run a business, and that tends to take up more time than the actual hobby. You could always hire someone to do these other tasks for you, but you first have to get to a place financially where you can afford that, which can take years. 

In our story today, a man has managed to grow his business to the point to where he is paying 75% of his expenses with it. Despite this, his wife disparages his efforts by calling it a hobby. Scroll down below to get the full backstory and read what netizens have to say about her comments. 

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  • 01

    AITAH for refusing to let it slide after my wife said I run a "hobby business"?

    0.00000617- Stop-Limit 00064 D "I put everything into building the business" BTC APPC Amount 50% 75% 100% Aceau Winds
    via Gustavo Fring from Pexels

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    I've been starting/running a trades business in a major city. It's going into its fifth year, we have 8-12 employees, have won awards and grown every year.
    via u/Late-Landscape4723
  • 03
    The conflict: I called me wife to ask her about a paperwork problem for taxes - turned out we needed the completed 2024 for something (we hadn't yet filed). She said it would give her a panic attack and she'd faint if I said she had to. I found her
    via u/Late-Landscape4723
  • 04
    docs on my desk in the morning, figured I would try to fit them in during the day but couldn't. So as I was figuring out the plan for the evening time wise (two kids, lots to do) I called and asked when she wanted me to do it. I meant that evening, would she prefer I work late and come back at a certain time to
    via u/Late-Landscape4723
  • 05
    BUSINESS ANALYSIS
    via Natee Meepian's Images

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 06
    take over for the rest? Come home do bath and dinner and then do it? None of the above? She got very angry and said I was asking her to figure out my life for me. I tried to clarify that I wasn't and what I meant, that I hadn't had a chance to do it as I only had the files in the morning and she yelled at me and told me I always had some excuse because of my "hobby business."
    via u/Late-Landscape4723
  • 07
    I didnt yell back I just sai, "That was way over the line. Totally unnecessary and inappropriate." I said that I put everything into building the business to help and support our family, and I couldn't believe how she could dismiss me and .. everything.
    via u/Late-Landscape4723
  • 08
    That it felt like she was calling me loser and a failure. She angrily responded that she just called it a hobby and I was entitled to think what I want but I liar" for saying that she was implying a lot more than just one word. She said she was just was a
    via u/Late-Landscape4723
  • 09
    expressing frustration and I said, well no, you insulted me and you knew how much it would hurt.. that was the point. She didn't argue, just said she was entitled to express her frustration and it wasn't her job to manage my feelings about what she said.
    via u/Late-Landscape4723

  • Okay, well if she's allowed to express frustration, he's also allowed to express frustration over her expressing frustration.

  • 10
    Context about this: My business is in its fifth year. I won't say it's been easy. It's been the hardest thing I ever did in my life. I (38M) had a desk job and was quite successful in one sector but the low pay, heavy hours and dependency on grants and funding
    via u/Late-Landscape4723
  • 11
    was heavy. I couldn't imagine doing it another 40 years, so I went looking for new careers. I applied to things I was over qualified for. I applied to things I was qualified for. I applied to things that, you'd think, anyone could get. Crickets. It is hard to change careers. Then I found the skilled trades. I
    via u/Late-Landscape4723
  • 12
    had to go back to school and get fit in one fell swoop, but I did it and toughed it out in some high production companies. Eventually, a friend of mine at one and I decided to start our own. We saw many problems in our industry, for employees, for clients, for owners and opportunity in the market.
    via u/Late-Landscape4723
  • 13
    It's been a wild ride. Everything was progress well until a fire destroyed our service trucks in year three. In year four, my wife had a second child and experienced severe PPD which resulted in
    via u/Late-Landscape4723
  • 14
    Cheezburger Image 10489114880
    via vichie81

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 15
    numerous hospitalizations and.. well.. rage directed at me that was highly destabilizing. The worst happened almost a year to the day of the fires, which we hadn't yet climbed out of.
    via u/Late-Landscape4723
  • 16
    It is march 2025 but it feels like marchvebbruary 2024 to me. The bad year just never ended as the build up of critical business stuff that needs to address is.. haunting. It took us six months to replace the trucks after the fire but keep running
    via u/Late-Landscape4723
  • 17
    somehow, and we still were dealing with early years growth pains. I thought the next year would be tough but stable. It was not, it was worse. The worst year of my life, and I've had some rough ones before all this.
    via u/Late-Landscape4723
  • 18
    My wife has worked for us and helped, not because it was desperately needed but because she couldn't get another job. It allowed her to take a year off for both our kids and stay home. I pay 75% of expenses, and the situation places extreme stress on me as if I falter or revenue is low there is nothing
    via u/Late-Landscape4723
  • 19
    else coming in. On the other hand, she works from home and has flexible hours and both kids are in daycare full time. When I am home late or need to work more for the money / business to survive first 5 she complains I'm not home. When I'm home she complains about money things.
    via u/Late-Landscape4723
  • 20
    I'm a pretty stoic person in terms of being screamed at, but this was just beyond beyond. I wish many things were different, but to call my work a hobby when it's the only support for our family and important to me? She sees no problem. I feel pointedly degraded.
    via u/Late-Landscape4723

  • She should be proud that her husband's business is able to cover so much of their expenses despite all of the hardships it has undergone in the past few years. Being a business owner isn't easy, and instead of cheering him on, she is trying to bring him down.

  • 21
    11 -
    via kanchanachitkhamma

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 22
    Dlraetz1 A hobby that pays 75% of the expenses and employs her. She is waaay out of line
    via u/Dlraetz1
  • 23
    jmac3979 I don't think she understands what "hobby" means
    via u/jmac3979
  • 24
    SlobZombie13 When OP said he runs a trades business and she called it a hobby I started to wonder if he sells MTG or Pokemon cards.
    via u/SlobZombie13
  • 25
    TwoldleHands The hobby pays all of the expenses if income from the hobby is the only income they both have... Sounds like wife is resentful of the ups and downs of the business and his extra hours while she underwent PPD and the newborn stage. They gotta talk this out in counseling.
    via u/TwoldleHands
  • 26
    t4thfavor I mean, "Hobby Income" generally pays fewer taxes than "self employment"
    via u/t4thfavor
  • 27
    nemesix1 So she was just telling him how to file the taxes.
    via u/nemesix1
  • 28
    ΝΤΑ Simple Assumption 577 You can tell her she is entitled to feel frustrated she is not entitled to place her frustration on you.
    via u/Simple_Assumption577
  • 29
    puddingcrypt As someone whose parents have been in a similar fight for nearly two decades, I gotta ask this: Do you take a regular paycheck in exchange for your labor in your business? Like a certain $$ every two weeks? (except in cases where the business has too
    via u/puddingcrypt
  • 30
    low funds to pay everyone the income they earned, so you gotta forgo your own check to pay your employees to avoid legal issues) Or do you conflate the business with "yourself" and count the entity's profit as your own?
    via u/puddingcrypt
  • 31
    I ask this because one of my parents considers the business growing as the family making money, but that money can't actually be accessed without selling the business. Those numbers might go up, but they couldn't be realized whenever we had emergencies, so we were effectively always living paycheck to paycheck. It creates a lot of tension and anxiety.
    via u/puddingcrypt
  • 32
    eevee0000 Your wife is mean. Weird she would call the family's only source of income a hobby. She did it to undermine you but she should be your biggest supporter. NTA
    via u/eevee0000
  • 33
    Revilrad She is mean because she thinks he did a mistake giving up his job. His mental health or any other considerations are irrelevant to her. Has always been. She tried to "hide" it and "support" him but sooner or later the truth comes out.
    via u/Revilrad

Tags

relationship advice marriage jealous small business taxes wife married life relationships husband couples love red flag relationship drama hobby
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